greathaircut:

if i was a criminal i would do all my crimes on a scooter so the police would only see one footprint every few meters and theyd look for a one-legged man with powerful jumping muscles instead of me

quadguyin-china:

salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

liteskint:

gigaguess:

Oh.
My.
God.

B Y E

Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

She is so satisfied with that joke.
cannaoisseur:

youngharlemnigga:

lovethyhippie:

faked the whole squad

Extraordinary levels of finesse

even faked the cameraman

rosaparking:

rnacintosh:

rosaparking:

im craving asparagus wtf is wrong with me

it’s better than craving for her to love me back

i dont know what to say im sorry

killergoth:

take me here on our first date

noire-pandora:

I am that type of douchebag friend who doesn’t talk with you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too.